1. |
Are We There Yet
01:48
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I've been looking for new drugs
Or someone to take up my time
I must sound like a child in a car ride
Asking, every ten seconds, the same god damn question
I've been looking for new clothes
I've been wearing the same shit since I was 16 and now I'm 24
Trying to learn how to quit things
I hate giving up, but there's no honor in holding on
To the shit that weighs you down
Used to say "nothing matters, so who cares when?"
Now I feel stupid asking "are we there yet?"
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2. |
Intentions
04:10
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Hadn't seen you in months
When I stayed with you this summer
It was so hot there I wanted to leave
Just sweating on each other for two weeks
And now I'm at home laying in the sun
And I want that feeling back
But I don't tan I just burn
So please nobody touch me
Should've known it wouldn't be the same
I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
I'm surprised every time I see that scar on your index
I'll never know what memory's left in there
And my imagination can't convince me anymore
That you're holding me, these hands don't compare
Should've known it wouldn't be the same
Cause everything I love must change
I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
Good intentions
But those only lead me to the past
I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
My freckled body, evidence of how I've changed
Clusters of memories in tiny galaxies
Flashes of feelings I can only chase
Blurred specks like distant stars
Like good intentions that don't matter today
Cause all the stars I see are in the past
All the stars I see are in the past
All the things I love have got to change
No, nothing that I love can stay the same
And I should've known
And I should've known that it wouldn't be the same
Yea I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
Yea I painted my sky the color of your eyes
I just wanted you to see me
I just wanted you to see me
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3. |
Halo / Leash
03:57
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Stuck under my halo
I’m always visible, I’m always visible
Stick it around my neck
I am choking, I’ll be your animal
So take for granted my love’s a constant
My problems are simple and
I’m in a bad mood, I just need to stop it
You’re feeling naked without my gaze
Without my gaze
Finally feeling the chill
Of colder days to come
So take for granted my love’s a constant
My problems are simple and
I’m in a bad mood, I just need to stop it
So take for granted my love’s a constant
My problems are simple and
I’m in a bad mood, I just need to stop it
I know it’s my fault for tearing you open
Like a kid early on Christmas morning
You’re not an object, is that how you feel?
Some possession I’ve stolen that I only want in the moment
And I know it’s my fault for tearing you open
Like a kid early on Christmas morning
And you’re not a house pet, is that what you’re afraid of?
A leash on your finger, another life left unopened
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4. |
Options
03:33
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Behind a photograph you found some money
It’ll buy us coffee
You needed somewhere new, it seems you always do
I’m glad you brought me
You got into grad school, hardly gave a smile
It’s not the one you wanted
The rejections are the elephant, everything is relevant
Everything is all the time, everything is all the time
Oh, closed lungs don’t freeze time, they just die
Words under your tongue just get stuck, they never warm up
Oh, closed lungs don’t freeze time, they just die
Words under your tongue just get stuck, they never warm up
What happened to the worries of last year?
They brought me comfort
Fear is an awesome thing
When it’s keeping you safe
Safe is an arm’s length away
I got options I’m unsure of
How the hell will we make it through next year?
I don’t know what to say, I don’t know what to say
Oh, closed lungs don’t freeze time, they just die
And words under your tongue just get stuck, they never warm up
Oh, closed lungs don’t freeze time, they just die
And words under your tongue just get stuck, they never warm up
I’ve dreamt circumstance that stops my heart squeezes my lungs
I’ve got passion like a parasite, it eats me up
I’ve been hiding behind hesitation now I’m fucked
There was a time when my worries wouldn’t shut me up
Why don’t you love me like you used to? I know it’s only one day
But you came empty handed and then I had to cheer you up
Well I’ve got passion like a parasite it eats me up
Dreamt I’m a mother squeezing life out of my child’s lungs
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5. |
Count My Fears
05:40
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I always need someone there
To hold my hands when I get scared
And count my fears
And count my fears
But I feel afraid to ask
And I feel shameful once it's passed
So I'll sit here
So I'll sit here
This past year I don't feel right
So I think it might be best
To hold them tight
To hold them tight
Cause everything I touch goes away
Goes into the ground
Cause everything I touch will end some day
Will end some day
I always need someone there
To use their hands an extra pair
To count my fears
To count my fears
I'll have to choose the ten I need
And store the others somewhere deep
And my genetics will give up half the key
So it's time to end it all
Because I can no longer stall
The passing on of the evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
Everything I touch goes into the ground
And everyone I touch, I hurt somehow
And everyone I touch, I hurt somehow
And everyday I cause pain
And everything I do will last too long
And everything I love will end some day
I'm a carbon cannibal, consumption as fact
There are consequences for all of my actions
I'm a carbon cannibal, consumption as fact
And there are consequences for all of my actions
But everything I touch goes into the ground
And everyone I touch, I hurt somehow
And everyone I touch, I hurt somehow
And everyday I cause pain
And everything I do will last too long
And everything I love will end some day
So it's time to end it all
Because I can no longer stall
The passing on of the evil inside me
I won't want to be here anyway
I could stop it all today
I could stop it all today
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
The evil inside me
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6. |
By 11:15
03:18
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I’ve been sleeping well for the past few weeks
Getting in bed by 11:15
I’ve been cooking all my meals at home
Saving lots of money
I haven’t been reading the news
Went to a protest two years ago, I’m cool
I’ve found a positive philosophy on life
But some days it’s okay just trying to survive
Yea some days it’s okay just trying to survive
Some days it’s okay just trying to survive
Some days it’s okay just trying to survive
I’m being gentle with myself and the earth
For being full of contradictions and too many words
And I want to make those people feel scared
For making violence seem like a holy affair
And what is their plan for helping new mothers out?
I just walk through with my head down
So little has actually changed
But sometimes I just really need a break
Yea sometimes I just really need a break
Sometimes I just really need a break
Sometimes I just really need a break
But I’ve been sleeping well for the past few weeks
Getting in bed by 11:15
I’ve been cooking all my meals at home
And saving lots of money
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7. |
Union Station
03:25
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The places I know, I know too well
Only can picture myself
In their concrete frame
Having conversations
We just had the other day
And I still don’t know what to say
And I thought hey, wouldn’t it be great
To feel something new?
And I thought hey, wouldn’t it be great
To feel something new?
So we start talking about next year
All my worries reappear
I try not to let you know
But there’s something good out there to find
And I’m proud of you
More than I could ever show
And you said “hey, I’m gonna miss you”
And this time it carried more weight
You said “hey, I’m gonna miss you”
And this time it carried more weight
Like you’d be doing it for a long time
Now I’m crying in Union Station
Where everyone can see
I’m crying in Union Station
And everyone can see
I’m crying in Union Station
And everyone can see
I don’t know why I’ve been hiding
I’m so safe in the silence
An awkward gesture of love
When there’s nothing else that I want
You asked me “what’s your deal?
You go through life telling no one how you feel”
I’ve been working on that
And everything that I love will change
And we’ve had better days
But that’s okay
Yea that’s okay
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8. |
Paint It Blue
02:38
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Our love swells like a fig tree
And its fruits are sweet
But some day they’re gonna rot
Will you love the wither as much as the seed?
And cut the branches that grow diseased
Will you do that for me?
Cause you are the roots of your own life
I’m still finding mine
No one can be the sun for you
Just let me be the flowers when it shines
So paint that sky the right color
Paint it blue
Don’t look up like the stars are my eyes
Let the simple things be good enough for you
Will you do that for you?
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9. |
Kids in the City
03:20
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Talking about the kids in the city
And the things that we’d do different
Made me feel like love’s a simple thing
It’s in everyone
And when we die, you hope that we come back
I don’t know, I kind of hope it all goes black
And if you’re right, I hope that we still meet
But I won’t give you the books I gave you for free
And next time, I will tell you all my thoughts
But I’m not that complicated
I’m loud with my friends and quiet when I’m not
Not to say I’m not okay with where things went
But do you still think of what could have been?
I guess, at some point, you gotta pick a path
But I don’t know what I should give
To this sacrificial existence
My lower or my upper limbs
To crawl along or keep kicking
’cause if I’ll be lonely for five years
Then I just might get out of here
Cut my losses at the wrist
You know I’ve never been one for risk
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Christian Kahn Washington, D.C.
Christian Kahn is a DIY musician currently based in Washington DC. He debuted with the melancholic bedroom-pop of I Won't
Feel Like I Do Now, and spent the next four years morphing his pop sensibilities into energetic, emo-inspired alt rock.
His newest release, Everything I Love, focuses on the parts of our lives that slip away, and those odd bits that stick with us.
... more
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